Cultivate Compassion: For Yourself And For Others

Enjoying emotional balance is having a focused and calm mind, capable of observing, at the same time, the emotional states and thoughts that constantly arise from it.

All this must take place in a settled and relaxed body. Free from agitation and free from its opposite: excessive relaxation that numbs the mind and body.

Emotional balance also means enjoying the psychological knowledge necessary to understand yourself, your own condition and your belonging to humanity. And to have a certain domesticity with our own emotions and the role that they fulfill in our life.

Be good with yourself to take good care of the other

When a person handles these three knowledge with ease and practices them, his life becomes resilient and his heart can open both to himself and to others. Thus, a person’s life takes on a decidedly spiritual aspect, rooted in his body, in his bodily sensations, present in his emotions and feelings.

This person is likely to be inclined to dedicate themselves to alleviating the suffering in others, having made peace with themselves first.

This form of emotional balance is supported by three fundamental pillars. Namely, contemplative wisdom, psychological knowledge, and emotions.

Meditation as a path

The contemplative wisdom brings the ancient knowledge of how to practice introspection and contemplation of one ‘s mind. Contemplatives consider their discipline a science of the mind, a scientific discipline for observing and knowing the phenomena of reality.

To advance in that contemplative wisdom, in that introspection that allows one to observe one’s own mind, the meditation techniques that come from the Shamata, a vehicle or set of meditation procedures of the Tibetan tradition that emphasize a refined concentration , are of great help. and in bringing serenity to mind.

For the researcher of consciousness and teacher Alan Wallace, practicing Shamata or refined attention is a previous step to the practice of Vipassana, which is the meditation that leads to the deep inquiry of the mind to get to know reality.

Both are valid when using mindfulness techniques , which aim to develop mindfulness.

When it comes to practicing mindfulness , you start by trying to be fully aware of breathing and the relaxation of the body, trying not to fall into torpor. The applications of this technique are four: abdominal breathing, nasal breathing, resting in the natural state of mind and being aware of consciousness.

It is recommended that you practice these techniques with a teacher who has practiced them consistently for years and continues to do so.

Understand compassion as a virtue

Compassion is one of what is known as the Four Immeasurables, one of the four virtues that represent an open heart according to Buddhism. The other three are love or kindness, equanimity or peace, and joy.

On the surface, we can have an idea of ​​what they are, but some sages have studied these virtues in depth and have a lot to say about each of them.

Compassion requires courage. Often when a person hears the word “compassion,” they associate it with being kind to someone who is hurting or even feeling sorry for them. Yet studies reveal that when a person truly experiences compassion, at its core it reveals courage and courage.

Help others and help you

In this sense, the definition of Dr. Paul Gilbert, an expert in compassion and founder of “cognitive therapy focused on compassion,” describes it as a sensitivity towards the suffering of oneself and of others, accompanied by the commitment to treat to alleviate that suffering and to prevent it.

The courage it takes to be compassionate lies only in the willingness to see the causes and nature of suffering, whether in ourselves, in others or in the human condition. The challenge of compassion is acquiring the wisdom needed to alleviate suffering in ourselves and others.

That is why it constitutes, in the words of Dr. Gilbert, a great declaration of strength and courage. Compassion is difficult, powerful, contagious, and influential. It is universally recognized as the motivation along with the skill necessary to transform the world.

The keys to compassionate meditation

Meditation becomes compassionate when it is able to move us towards something good, something that relieves or prevents pain, in oneself or in others.

A work of internalization and contemplation can tell us what is the root of our suffering to attend to it little by little. There is no miraculous cure here, but a hard inner work, full of common sense, capable of cutting the denial that we usually put on our psychological, mental and emotional ailments.

The intensive practice of meditation can alleviate psychosomatic ailments, since it is, in essence, the pacification of the mind, body and speech. The practice of mindfulness creates an exceptional state of well-being, with a body relaxed, but not asleep, and an attentive mind, but not lax or hyperactive.

When meditating on the Four Immeasurables or virtues for an open heart, noble feelings such as sweetness or joy often surface . And, as various psychological studies have proven, people with a happy heart who do not carry resentment or “unforgiving” states tend to have better health and a capacity for joy, enjoyment, and peace.

People who are usually well do not often understand those who suffer, they want them to get well the first time and make many judgments that undermine their own heart, their empathy, and thus the help they give is ineffective.

When the heart is open, we are able to put aside our agenda, our interests, and be infinitely patient. Not foolishly patient, but really patient. We understand that human processes take time.

A Buddhist teacher taught me that we are not here to perfect ourselves, but to perfect our capacity to love.

A tool for life

In my day to day, I attend to people who want to feel good in my office. Something has thrown them off balance. After living an intense episode, with various experiences, nothing has ever been the same for them. The energy of these experiences has seeped into their minds, and their emotions, and they have lost a sense of balance, well-being, and control.

The same thing happens to all of us, perhaps to a lesser extent, with everyday stress. It is not about selling positivity, nor about excusing yourself with the fact that to wake up you always have to have a bad time, but about paying attention to the changes in the internal and external life of the human being, of oneself.

Cultivating certain habits and qualities has a very high value when dealing with internal and external problems in life.

The sum total of efforts to meditate carefully, to be present in our sensations, feelings and emotions, brings us more peace to accept reality and put aside our judgments and established ways of thinking.

As the philosopher William James said: “The voluntary and sovereign path to joy, if we lose joy, consists in proceeding with joy, acting and speaking joyfully, as if that joy were already with us.”

Emotional therapy for turbulent times

During a meeting of the Mind and Life Institute – held in 2000 in the Indian city of Dharamsala and dedicated to “Destructive Emotions” – the Dalai Lama commissioned Paul Ekman, Darwinian psychologist and world expert on emotions , and Buddhist teacher Alan Wallace create an emotional balance course that will help people into the new millennium.

With the help of other experts, research was carried out with almost 100 participants that showed that the synergy between Tibetan contemplative practices and the most current knowledge of emotion research in Western psychology could be of great benefit.

Specifically, with the emotional balance techniques developed, a considerable decrease in hostility, anxiety and depression was evidenced among the participants .

In the latest book published by the Dalai Lama ( The Force of Compassion , Kairos 2015), His Holiness repeatedly points out this course as the most appropriate program to deal with ourselves in these times of emotional and social turmoil. It can help reduce obsessive thoughts, the tension of stress, moderate states of depression or anxiety.

And if we feel good, the usefulness of this course lies in being able to better understand others.