Story: “You Never Tell Me You Love Me”

Max dined at the house of his friends Julio and Raquel. After dinner, they began a relaxed chat in which, ironically, the two friends discussed their relationship. At one point, Raquel said to Max,
“Do you know what’s going on, Max?” Well, Julio never tells me he loves me.

The comment remained in the air, but it did not go unnoticed by Max that there was a point of reproach in Raquel’s tone that went beyond the irony of the moment.

The next morning, Julio received a message from Max.

It was an invitation to share a coffee. The message was accompanied by an old Phil Collins song, Do You Remember , which Julio received with total bewilderment and without being able to understand the meaning of that shipment.

Julio gladly accepted the invitation and showed up on time at Max’s house. Max made the coffee. They settled in the living room and, cup in hand, Max commented:
—By the way, Julio, I was surprised by Raquel’s comment yesterday…

Without letting him finish, Julio replied hastily,
“It’s your favorite line, Max.” But don’t suffer, I hear him say it a dozen times a week. It is not of the least importance.

Max, convinced that Raquel’s tone was hiding something more than an anecdotal or ironic comment, asked:
“But honestly, do you tell Raquel that you love her, yes or no?”

“Let’s see, Max, we’ve been together for ten years and we’re doing well.” I don’t think I should be telling you all day at this point. Besides, he knows it perfectly …

Max got up, walked over to the computer, and played the Phil Collins song he had sent Julio with the message. He recognized her instantly.
“Did you hear what the song says?” Max asked her after a while.
“Yes, but I didn’t understand what he was coming for.” I’m afraid my English is not up to par. But since you’ve spent so much time in England, sure you can explain it to me.

– It’s a story of estrangement. Specifically, the verse that is now playing says: “We always had more important things to do, more important things to say. but ‘I love you’ was not one of these things. And now it is too late ”.
Julio, after hearing Max’s explanation, could not help but justify himself:

“But Max, Raquel, and I are fine.” It may be true that I am not telling her that I love her, but she cannot forget it!

—You see, Julio, you yourself have said that you have been together for ten years and, after so long, we usually take many things for granted. We settle on topics that end up becoming great beliefs, but that do not always correspond to reality. You say that Raquel knows you love her, and that this is enough. But she probably not only needs to hear it, she wants to experience it again. Relationships need to feed back, get them out of clichés, inertia, and routines. And, in this sense, saying “I love you” again is a good way to do it.

“So you’ve teamed up with her to make her tell her more often,” Julio commented wryly. But, Max, I’m afraid it’s going to sound fake, forced. You won’t believe it.
—Man, if it is to “complete the procedure”, obviously it will sound forced. You really have to tell him.
—And how do you say “really”?
—In your case, you are not very given to words, you can tell her with gestures, with details that you have with her, doing the things you did for her at the beginning, when, whether you were aware of it or not, you were saying “I love you” 24 hours a day. Make her feel that she is back, like at the beginning of your relationship, permanently in your mind, that you have thought about her at work, or in the car, or while shopping at the supermarket.

“Max, you’re asking me to go back to the beginning.” And we are no longer two adolescents…
—I ask you to do it from your maturity now. And I mean both your personal maturity and that of the relationship. Sure you will do different things and that you will have different gestures than those of ten years ago, but the message will be the same, that you love her, that you really care.

Max dismissed a thoughtful Julio, who had not quite integrated all that information. However, after a week, he received an email. It said: “Max, I give you your song back. Thanks to our talk, I no longer identify with her ”.