7 Ideas To Overcome Jealousy: A Journey Towards Oneself
This society has made us believe many ideas about love, in movies and romance novels jealousy is seen in a way that perhaps we need to review …
Jealousy is a problem for many romantic partners. We have all had a partner who distrusted us, checked our cell phones or pouted when we met a physically attractive co-worker. Maybe even you yourself have been jealous at some point in your life.
How to neutralize jealousy
In this article, we propose 7 basic tips to reflect on your partner’s jealousy and start promoting romantic relationships based on other values.
1. Jealousy is the symptom, not the disease
Like any pain, it is an alarm signal that something is happening to us. We can put a temporary patch or go to the very origin of the feeling. When we do, we usually find a need for attention, affection, recognition, and reaffirmation in our bonds.
2. All needs are legitimate
When we have found the source of jealousy, we have to express our need. Everything we need is legitimate, let’s not punish ourselves for it. If we need more affection, let’s just ask for it.
3. Name: I’m jealous
Everyone is jealous and it is important to embrace the feeling. As much as we have had non-monogamous relationships for years, jealousy can reappear and that neither takes away nor adds value to us. It is important to be able to name them and work from it with our environment.
4. Welcoming: he is jealous
Loving people when everything is going well is easy. But it is wonderful to love in weaknesses, in pain. In an affective network, you have to be able to accept jealousy as something that happens and see how it is minimized or calmed.
5. Weave ourselves into a net and let ourselves fall
If we think of affective networks as bonding spaces, each one is responsible for their emotions, but a welcoming environment is necessary in which to let oneself fall, in which to be able to become vulnerable, take off the armor and show oneself in all the fragility. An environment that does not judge us, but loves us and respects us. With all the small greatnesses and miseries that make us, hopelessly and fortunately, human.
6. Communicate without violence
Express what we feel freely, but without attacking or reproaching others for their feelings. Do it openly, put our affective needs on the table and clearly, and reach agreements that avoid the win-lose scheme to build a reciprocity formula.
7. Learn to recognize our emotions
We live in a world that denies emotions to the point that we don’t learn to recognize them. Our emotional vocabulary is reduced to a few sensations: anger, sadness, joy … Working on the nuances of our emotions and learning to distinguish them is essential to be able to express our affective needs.
